Navigating ourselves in this day and age is a tricky proposition. The clash of personalities, politics, religious views and family values can lead us to wonder how peace in the world can ever exist. Many of us live in a few different worlds simultaneously: our work life, home life, extended family life and circle of friends.
Within all of these structures one may feel that they have to play certain role(s) in order to get by or get through difficult dilemmas.
“Chris is very sensitive so I better make sure I say this gently.”
“My boss is overbearing and needs to feel like she’s in the position of power, so it’s best to let her believe she’s got the upper hand.”
“Ginger always takes up so much space when she enters a room. Even if I don’t want to be invisible I will still end up feeling that way.”
“I’m really angry at Bill for saying that off-handed comment, but if I confront him he’ll probably make me pay for it later.”
As aware human beings, we do need to make a concerted effort to be kind and compassionate in our communications with others. However, when we begin to loose who we are (sacrificing our highest good for the sake of not going outside our comfort zone) we do a disservice to our loved ones and ourselves. Many times we fear being completely authentic because we don’t want to overwhelm, unnecessarily push away or hurt another person or ourselves in the process.
Being Yourself. What Exactly Does That Mean?
So what does it mean to be yourself? So many times the phrase “just be yourself” is used to comfort another person when we’re not sure what else to say. Most of us don’t know what it means. There are aspects of ourselves we don’t feel comfortable with, that we fear others won’t like or take advantage of. “Being yourself” can put you in a vulnerable position rather than a state of inner power.
Yup. It’s All About Love.
We just want to be loved. It’s pretty simple when it comes down to it. Love is all that matters. Our accomplishments, successes and victories can never truly fulfill us if we do not feel that we are loved. Many times we are seeking this love from an external source whether it be the love of a spouse, the approval of our boss or parents or the adoration of our peers.
Although we do need external support we will never find the love that we must find ourselves and that is available to us from Universal Energy. There is an unending supply of this love that is based in wisdom, strength and authenticity. How we open to receiving that love is an individual process, one that is a combination of deep inner work and letting go.
Expectations of the Healing Process
Many times when we finish an intense inner process we want an automatic result, a long-lasting relief from our pain and burdens. However in that expectation we set ourselves up for disappointment. To open to the full experience, we must accept the healing as it is and be willing to let go of the result. In this way we can open ourselves up to the duality that self-love is an acceptance of the fact that the work is never done, never complete, just another step.
In this understanding, the deep knowing in the body and feelings of this concept, we can finally relax and accept ourselves as is. Not broken, not fixed. Just human. We can be ourselves knowing that not everyone will like or accept us. That can be ok. By loving ourselves we are being ourselves unapologetically.
Being the Example of Self-Acceptance
We are opening the pathway for others to love themselves through this skillfulness. Our example of self-acceptance does not even have to be spoken. By radiating this vibration others around us can find their own way to the same sense of ongoing resolution and forgiveness.
We internally shift, let go, and offer ourselves to the world. Life happens. We look inward again, are honest with all that is happening, laugh at the absurdity of how we make ourselves suffer and heal for the benefit of all beings. It may not always be easy but it doesn’t have to be difficult either.
What’s Next?
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